Unfortunately for China’s women their new-found confidence has incited a backlash from men, the government and even their own families.
The popular Chinese label (leftover women), regularly perpetuated in state-controlled media and on internet message boards, refers to women who are smart, successful and moneyed but still not married by the age of 28.
Most of the people I know are from work, but a workplace relationship would probably be more trouble than it’s worth.
I figured that a better idea might be to use online dating sites where I could meet new people.
As a thirtysomething Taiwanese immigrant woman who has lived and worked in the San Francisco Bay Area for the last six years, I know the pressures associated with being labeled a sheng nu. In traditional Chinese culture, men are more likely to seek a submissive woman to build a family with.
On Chinese New Year, for example, when entire families typically get together, it’s not uncommon for a “leftover woman” to be asked questions like, “Why are you still single? ” As if that weren’t enough, Valentine’s Day comes along shortly thereafter, and the torture is inflicted all over again. Master’s Degree and my overseas work experience make me undesirable on the dating scene in my Taiwanese hometown, where men are turned off by my age and may even question my fertility.To understand why, there are a few things that you need to know about finding a mate in China. Many Chinese women place high value on a husband with money and stability.In a now famous moment from a Chinese dating show, a female contestant rejected a suitor with the iconic line, "I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than laugh on the back of a bicycle." Second, men have to marry downwards.Single Chinese women seem to be at the fore front of this online dating movement with many of them being eager to meet foreign men especially foreign men seeking Chinese women for dating.If you were under the preconceived notion that the Chinese women seeking dating are uneducated, docile and mostly after your money then you have the wrong idea, single Chinese women are more independent and far from being submissive.I tell them it’s because I have standards that I’m not willing to lower.’ Touching an expensive-looking bangle on her wrist, she goes on, 'I think my parents understand a bit more – they just want me to be happy – but my aunties always say things like, “Oh, do you remember that girl you went to school with? ” It's very frustrating.’ Wu Manling, 30 and a magazine editor, agrees.